Has anyone ever said something that affected you negatively? Did you feel like your self-worth or self-esteem was lost because of it? If yes, then you would agree that there are things you shouldn’t let people say to you.
Here are three things you shouldn’t accept or let people say to you.
#1 You are not good enough
One question I couldn’t answer for more than a decade ago was, “are you good enough”? The primary reason I had no answer to this question was that I had accepted that I wasn’t good enough at the things I did or would like to do. It became difficult to take simple compliments like “Anthony, you did great!” “You are good at this.” All I could see was that I was not good enough in anything I did. As a result, I developed a low self-confidence.
If you still accept these words from anyone, here’s something that you need to know. You don’t have to be good enough to be or do anything worthwhile.
A young lady who took part in America has got talent competition showcased her talent in playing the violin while she dances. After an excellent performance, one of the judges told her that “you aren’t good enough to fly through the air while playing the violin at the same time.”
The thought that she wasn’t good enough to go after her dreams made her depressed for a while. However, she refused to let the opinions of the judges limit her and went on with her goal. That lady is Lindsey Sterling, a famous American hip-pop violinist known for dancing and playing her violin at the same time.
Had Lindsey accepted that she wasn’t good enough as the judges told her and let those words limit her, she would have never achieved success doing what she loves.
Sylvester Stallone recognized this in the famous movie Rocky Balboa when he said:
“You grew up so good, but somewhere along the line you changed, you stop being you, you let people stick a finger in your face and tell you, you’re no good.”Rocky Balboa
You stopped being great because you let people’s negative opinion of you become your reality instead of focusing on improving yourself. If someone says you aren’t good enough to be or do anything you want, know this;
“You don’t have to be good enough to feel good enough because anything worth being or doing is worth doing badly until you get it right.”
#2 You can’t do it
Has anyone told you that you couldn’t do something even when you know you can? If yes, then you are certainly not alone. I heard this one too many that it became voices in my head, continually saying Anthony – “you can’t do that,” “you are incapable of doing this…” Imagine someone you trust, love, admire, and respect like a friend, family member, partner, mentor, tell you that you couldn’t do something. Notice how quickly you will back out from the thought that you can do it because you feel that person knows about your capabilities. Unfortunately, many today quit because the person they admire, respect or love told them that they couldn’t do it.
If this is true for you; you need to hear this from Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness;
“Don’t ever let someone tell you, you can’t do something.” – Chris Gardner
He’s right! When people say you can’t do something, it’s because they can’t see past the fact that they can not do it themselves. And as Raph Waldo Emerson said, “Neither you nor anyone in the world knows what you can do until you have tried.” So own it, you are more capable than you think you are.
#3 You don’t have what it takes
“You don’t have what it takes to get the job,” “you don’t have it in you, the talent, the looks, the education…” Do these sound familiar? These are only their views of what it takes but not what truly it takes to do anything you want. People like Oprah, Chris Gardner, JK Rowling who started from nothing not having what it takes as others defined but today are among the wealthiest people, business owners and more.
There is one person above all others that you must never let you tell you that you don’t have what it in you. That person is YOU, your thoughts, the voices in your head always telling you that you don’t have it in you to reach your goals and actualize your dreams.
What does it take actually to do or have the things you want? Zig Ziglar said it all;
“You’ve got to be before you can do and do before you can have.“Zig Ziglar
In other words, before you can have the things you want, you must first do, and before you do the things that you must, you must first be. Having what it takes comes from a place of BEING! Become the person it takes to do the things you must and have what you want.
Final thoughts on things you shouldn’t let people say to you
You must recognize that it’s all up to you, should you choose to accept these negative words or reject them. Just like Eleanor Roosevelt said in her famous quote;
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
No one has the right to make you think or feel inferior only if you let them by basing yourself on their opinions of you. Only those whom you grant permission can influence your self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem. People will always say negative things to you, but the sooner recognize that their words don’t define you, but are merely opinions, the better you keep them from becoming real.
Develop a tough skin, no matter where you are, what you do, or how far you go, people will always have something negative to say that can influence your life if you accept them. Above all, never base your decisions on someone’s opinions about you as a great motivational speaker, Les Brown said; someone’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality.
Before You Go
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I’d also love to learn more from you. What other things do you think people shouldn’t say to you? Please share in the comments below.